ishoos

So how do one deal with ones issues once one´s got a clue what they are?

Any suggestions will be happily recieved.

(Dreaming of running away in a mini bus amidst palm trees and the sound of a surf. )

(Feeling like not enough.)

glasgow

Sometimes calmness is found in other places. This city is both known and unfamiliar to me. A restlessness has sunken down into the bottom of my stomach were it lies peaceful.

highpoint: falling asleep in the september sunshine under the strongest and most beautiful angel in the necropolis, on the hill where she sits overlooking the city.

everything unknown

Today I was hanging out with one of the smallest persons on this earth. She rocked.
Then all of a sudden I became aware of the fact that everyone walking by on the street had been that small, and how weird it is when u think about it. I was also thinking about how everything is unknown when you see it for the first time. Like a chair - to a baby it's not even a mystery, you just accept it as a fascinating part of a world that grows bigger everyday.

moving out...

Some days ago my sister and I spoke about comfort zones, and how they can be a safe enclosure. Then yesterday I found a book that was given to me almost ten years ago. In the front cover my friend agnes has written: "It says somewehere in this book that decisions should be made out of courage, not fear." And so I moved out of comfort zone to do just that.
Was it a good or a bad thing? Time will tell.

Highpoint: moving out of the comfort zone
Lowpoint: worrying about what it will or will not mean

I was going to tell you about some things I noticed lateley, but instead I will leave you with this video:

It is from the village Nuevo San Jose in Guatemala where I once met this girl named Katie. She took me into a hen house to show me how the birds sang in the dark.

Later that week I tried to climb a small montain to impress her, but fell down and scratched my arm instead. "Boys are show offs" she said as we watched a guy climb all the way up.

"Girls are too" I thought as I wiped the mud from my arms and legs.

About the now: tooth ache. Someone let the air out of my bike tires last saturday, and stole the basket. A tomato going red on the balcony. Writing cheesy things, mostly.

A sort of restlessness has crept up on me, a feeling of not being content, the intensity of the summer momentarily overshadowed. I think it´s the autumn, my favourite season. Altough I love that crisp smell in the air, the changing colours, the hunt for mushrooms and blackberries and the naked feeling of entering a cold lake or sea, knowing it´s probably for the last time...it has a tendency to depress me a bit.

Went around town aimlessly trying on clothes yesterday, not really knowing what I needed and not wanting to get anything that I don´t need. Got into that whole who am I really mood in front of all the mirrors. So many people you could be on the outside.

This is me some weeks ago, trying on a dress for almost twenty minutes. The cool thing about it that you probably don´t notice is that it has a pattern of tiny farmers on it.

(But I didnt get it. The time is yet to come when you will see me in a white fluffy dress.)

Knock on wood

This morning everything went very well: I managed to sell my camera at twelve a clock and then had time to put the money in the bank, get a fallefel for lunch, retrieve my repaired mobile phone AND making it in time for the one a clock train to work. All the while I heard this little stupid voice in my ear: now that the day started so well it can only get worse...

...and five minutes ago I emptied my newly refilled mug of steaming hot tea all over the desk...but it really doesn't matter. The day is mine anyway.